Monday, July 23, 2012
Make God Numero Uno!
So about a month ago I got this fabulous idea to write this blog along with the wonderful man in my life, Noah. Well since then a lot has been going on, lots of busyness, tough times, learning, growth, and neither of us have really had the opportunity to really commit to this blog. But over the last few days we have both been learning something very crucial, so I wanted to make sure to make time to share.
Mark 17:28-30 " One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."
The most crucial part of a relationship, is God. Ask yourself, where is God in your relationship? Is God number 1 in your heart, in your focus? Do you fear God? Do you seek to love, serve, and please God? Is God your first love? Is God the first one you turn to for comfort, guidance, love, and protection? Are your eyes fixed on God? Is God on the pedestal in your life?
For the last few weeks or even months or so, the answer to all of those questions were "no" for me and Noah. That had a huge effect on our relationship! Because we lost sight of God, things happened that we never imagined we would let happen, evil grew and grew in our hearts and minds, and we hurt each other in such terrible ways, creating wounds that will take so much time to heal. Our love for each other became shallow and dry and things just never seemed right. All of this happened because instead of making God number 1 in our lives, we gave each other that position.
Sometimes in a relationship you can get so caught up in things, and you start to think that what's best is to put each other as number 1 in your heart. You start to wake up each day thinking about how can you be the best girlfriend or boyfriend, how can you please your significant other, how can you serve them and make them happy. That's what starts to be on the forefront of your mind. It sounds great and like the right thing to do, right? Actually it doesn't always work out too good.
Over the last few weeks the phrase that's been most common in me and Noah's vocabulary, is "I just want to please you." That's what we have told each other nearly every day. What we focus so much of our time and energy on is pleasing each other. We set out each day to find out how to please each other. When we are successful, we feel good about ourselves, when we seem to fail, we feel hurt, inadequate, and worthless. The phrase "you don't please me enough" has caused so many scars on our self esteem. We have gone to so many extremes to please each other. That's what happens when your sole focus in your relationship is on each other. You experience a lot of hurt more than anything.
Over the last week me and Noah have realized that something isn't quite right in our relationship. So we have gone to God about it, and God opened our eyes in the last few days and has shown us the problem. The problem is, we don't put Him first!
God needs to be first! Always! It is so important that your focus in on the One Above. Instead of trying to shape ourselves into perfect girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives, we need to allow God to shape us into godly and holy men and women. We need to seek to please God, to serve Him, to love Him first. When we allow God to be our Master, to be number 1 in our lives, that's when things start to fall into place. When we are growing closer to God and are becoming godly men and women, that's when we can exhibit the fruits of the Spirit as Galatians 5:22-23 mention, or love as 1 Corinthians 13 shows us, those things which help our relationships to function and grow.
"7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:7-12
God teaches us how to love in the right way. But if we are not focusing on His love for us, if we don't have our eyes on Him, then we miss out on that teaching. God is the one who will show us how to love each other right, how to be good girlfriends and boyfriends and then wives and husbands, but in order for Him to show us that, we need to turn to Him. God wants us to be loving. He wants us to love each other! But that right kind of love comes from Him. Inside we have fleshly sinful natures which keep us from truly being loving. Galatians 5 tells us that our flesh has the opposite character from what God wants. But when we aren't focusing on God, our flesh is what comes through, and that means that in your relationships, you aren't going to be as loving as you should. We need to walk in the Spirit, and that involves a close relationship with God, having Him as our focus.
Always stop to check yourself and see where your heart is. Make sure that God is number 1 in your heart. When God is number 1, when we allow Him to work in us, show us what we need to do, help us grow and mature, that's when things fall into place, that's when your relationship can really blossom and grow into something beautiful!
That's all for now folks! God Bless! :)
Gabs :)
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Learning to Lead: A Guy's Perspective
So typically, when you throw people together, there's always gonna be a pecking order, top dog/underdog, you name it. A leader arises. Could be good, could be bad. Frankly, it's kinda scary, and in today's culture, we really like keeping the playing field level...
Is this a good thing? I mean, if everyone gets to make every decision, it'd prevent an individual from not getting what he wants, needs, desires... It would be nice to just throw things out there and say that everyone should do what they want, make all the decisions... But this is contrary to human nature. Without leadership, and their followings, chaos would ensue. Nothing would get done. There isn't such a thing as a perfect democracy. The U.S. itself is a Republic-Democracy. We elect leaders to make the decisions for us. We have to trust that they will make the best choices for our country...
And therein lies the issue. Who makes for a good leader? This applies not only to nations, but to people, to relationships as well. First off, what makes for a good leader? Someone who is willing to place another's needs above his own. Looking at Matthew 20: 25-28, Jesus tells his disciples how a person should lead:
"Jesus called them together and said, 'You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.'"
...The leadership lies upon my shoulders in this relationship. What I'm trying to share with you is how I'm trying to handle myself as a leader. I make the decisions, but with this privilege comes with responsibilities. I must serve those under me. At this time, I must serve my girlfriend and be attentive to her needs.
What else entails leadership? One of the things I have learned at a camp I attended through high school was how to be a leader. They showed me the essential "5 Pillars of Leadership". This is the basic stuff that every good leader should know and practice.
Is this a good thing? I mean, if everyone gets to make every decision, it'd prevent an individual from not getting what he wants, needs, desires... It would be nice to just throw things out there and say that everyone should do what they want, make all the decisions... But this is contrary to human nature. Without leadership, and their followings, chaos would ensue. Nothing would get done. There isn't such a thing as a perfect democracy. The U.S. itself is a Republic-Democracy. We elect leaders to make the decisions for us. We have to trust that they will make the best choices for our country...
And therein lies the issue. Who makes for a good leader? This applies not only to nations, but to people, to relationships as well. First off, what makes for a good leader? Someone who is willing to place another's needs above his own. Looking at Matthew 20: 25-28, Jesus tells his disciples how a person should lead:
"Jesus called them together and said, 'You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.'"
...The leadership lies upon my shoulders in this relationship. What I'm trying to share with you is how I'm trying to handle myself as a leader. I make the decisions, but with this privilege comes with responsibilities. I must serve those under me. At this time, I must serve my girlfriend and be attentive to her needs.
What else entails leadership? One of the things I have learned at a camp I attended through high school was how to be a leader. They showed me the essential "5 Pillars of Leadership". This is the basic stuff that every good leader should know and practice.
1. Meekness
What is meekness? Meekness is controlled power. We see this in people if they are patient and humble. Some view this as weakness. But it is not weakness. Being gentle allows for one to have much more power than some hothead running his mouth all the time. It's the power of persuasion. If you are meek, you will receive respect, and when you ask something of someone instead of telling them what to do, you will get a better response. "Ask and you shall receive." Meekness is a key component of being a leader.
2. Integrity
Integrity is the quality of being whole or undivided. As a leader, you must not be compromised. If you are, then your ability to lead will be hindered by your followers' views of you. Being unpredictable is dangereous, no one wants to risk having a leader who might back down from what they had promised before. It is frustrating, and it is a fast way to lose all of your following. Integrity is vital to any leader.
3. Vision
Vision is seeing God's presence, power, and plan, despite obstacles. As a leader, you can't go very far if you don't look to the One Above for the road ahead. You need to seek God and let Him reveal the stuff before you. You will be blind without His guidance, and bringing another person into a pit with you is the easiest and fastest way to have them resent you and disregard your skills as a leader. They'll find a way to dig themselves out of the pit, and won't trust you to lead them anymore.
4. Attitude
Attitude is infectious all the time. You can't go anywhere and not be affected by the "vibes" around you. Having a good attitude is important. Your followers will take up the same attitude as yourself. If you're indifferent towards him or her, they'll be the same towards you. If you are controlling and manipulative, it will become a game and they will do the same. Yes, your followers are their own person, but their general attitude will act like a mirror to view yourself and your attitude.
5. Empowerment
Leadership is a gift. Learn to give it away. You have to be loose with your reins of power. This isn't an excuse to lose responsibility, rather you must be appropriate in giving away the responsibilities in your possession. You grabbed the power in the first place, so you had better keep a hold onto it til it is the right time to let go. Be responsible. But also allow others to take on that responsibility for themselves when they're ready. Having immature followers is a recipe for getting nowhere fast. They'll only drag you down, until you let them grow some.
...Difficult sounding? Yes. But these are necessary. One last thing to remember about leadership, and this is far from being least important:
"Leadership is manifested, not bestowed."
You can't sit around and expect leadership to fall into your lap. You have to be responsible and work at earning the ability to lead.
That's all I have for you today. God Bless!
-Noah
Friday, June 22, 2012
So what's with this blog?
Hello friends! :)
So yes that's right, Gabby has yet another blog, but this time it's different. This blog is something that me and my wonderful man, Noah, decided we were going to do together. :) Actually, it was an idea that I came up with last week, and he lovingly supported me and told me he would love to help me with it. :P :) But anyways this is a project we are doing together which I think is going to turn out awesome!
So what is it?
Well, this blog is both a documentation of the journey of our beautiful relationship and a way for us to share the things God has taught us, and will continue to teach us along the way. We look at it as kind of a ministry opportunity, sharing lessons with whoever may benefit from them. Let me give you a little background on why I came up with this idea.
Why blogging?
One of my favorite things to do is to talk to myself. I like to think out loud, and it usually ends up in me praying, so it can be a really neat devotional practice. So anyways I like to think about just what is going on in my life and what God is doing in my life, and so about 2 years ago I decided I wanted to share some of my late night ramblings, so I created a blog. :) Fast forward to now, a lot of my late night rambling lately have been about my relationship with Noah, obviously, because that is one of the most important things going on in my life. :) I've been thinking about just how blessed me and Noah have been throughout the journey of our relationship and I've also been thinking about how much we've grown. Our relationship has been full of high points, and some lows too, but through all of it, God has taught us a lot! I can honestly say that over the last 10 months, I have grown more than at any other point in my life and I know Noah has grown so much too. So I really want to share all these things that we have been learning.
Why sharing these lessons?
Why do I want to share these relationship lessons? Well I feel like it is a stepping towards a ministry that me and Noah want to be involved with in the future. We both have a heart for working with young girls, and I want to work with them specifically when it comes to dealing with relationships and sexual sins, an area that I feel like has a lot of needs. From my perspective, this kind of ministry is really needed and I want to step up and have that kind of ministry in a church someday. In this blog, I will definitely touch on some issues that might be affecting some young girls, or even young women my age, because I want to share my knowledge with them. Not only do I want to reach out to young girls, I want to go a little beyond my ministry and just share things with young women who are in my situation, being young and in a serious relationship that's heading towards marriage. When you're young, wisdom from someone who knows where you are in life, can be helpful and encouraging, and that's what I want to be.
So me and Noah will be working together on posts on this blog. I think I will be the primary poster, but when Noah has things to share, he will certainly come on and post as well, I hope. :) I think it's great for girls to hear something from a godly man's perspective, also a relationship takes two, so I just couldn't do this blog without him. :) Besides, he has some amazingly good insight. :) He's really the thinker in this relationship. Anyways well I hope that you, reader, will find something of value as you following along on our journey!
Ta ta for now!
Gabby :)
So yes that's right, Gabby has yet another blog, but this time it's different. This blog is something that me and my wonderful man, Noah, decided we were going to do together. :) Actually, it was an idea that I came up with last week, and he lovingly supported me and told me he would love to help me with it. :P :) But anyways this is a project we are doing together which I think is going to turn out awesome!
So what is it?
Well, this blog is both a documentation of the journey of our beautiful relationship and a way for us to share the things God has taught us, and will continue to teach us along the way. We look at it as kind of a ministry opportunity, sharing lessons with whoever may benefit from them. Let me give you a little background on why I came up with this idea.
Why blogging?
One of my favorite things to do is to talk to myself. I like to think out loud, and it usually ends up in me praying, so it can be a really neat devotional practice. So anyways I like to think about just what is going on in my life and what God is doing in my life, and so about 2 years ago I decided I wanted to share some of my late night ramblings, so I created a blog. :) Fast forward to now, a lot of my late night rambling lately have been about my relationship with Noah, obviously, because that is one of the most important things going on in my life. :) I've been thinking about just how blessed me and Noah have been throughout the journey of our relationship and I've also been thinking about how much we've grown. Our relationship has been full of high points, and some lows too, but through all of it, God has taught us a lot! I can honestly say that over the last 10 months, I have grown more than at any other point in my life and I know Noah has grown so much too. So I really want to share all these things that we have been learning.
Why sharing these lessons?
Why do I want to share these relationship lessons? Well I feel like it is a stepping towards a ministry that me and Noah want to be involved with in the future. We both have a heart for working with young girls, and I want to work with them specifically when it comes to dealing with relationships and sexual sins, an area that I feel like has a lot of needs. From my perspective, this kind of ministry is really needed and I want to step up and have that kind of ministry in a church someday. In this blog, I will definitely touch on some issues that might be affecting some young girls, or even young women my age, because I want to share my knowledge with them. Not only do I want to reach out to young girls, I want to go a little beyond my ministry and just share things with young women who are in my situation, being young and in a serious relationship that's heading towards marriage. When you're young, wisdom from someone who knows where you are in life, can be helpful and encouraging, and that's what I want to be.
So me and Noah will be working together on posts on this blog. I think I will be the primary poster, but when Noah has things to share, he will certainly come on and post as well, I hope. :) I think it's great for girls to hear something from a godly man's perspective, also a relationship takes two, so I just couldn't do this blog without him. :) Besides, he has some amazingly good insight. :) He's really the thinker in this relationship. Anyways well I hope that you, reader, will find something of value as you following along on our journey!
Ta ta for now!
Gabby :)
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